Glass half empty or full?

Doctors. Can't live with em', can't live without em. Well, maybe you can. But, I don't. I am firm beliver in regular tune ups, believe it or not. Yearly mamograms and Pap smears (don't you just HATE the name of that one)? I might be a bit of a wuss, but I believe I was sent to the earth in 1955 for several reasons and not taking advantage of modern medicine seems silly to me. Like someone saying, "hey, here's a million dollars" and me saying, "no, thanks". So, I go to the doctor, probably more than anyone in my family. And, thanks to Sarah, I have a really good,nice, pleasant family practice doctor I love.

So, about a year ago, in my annual tuneup/checkup, when she ordered some very routine blood tests, I asked her to test me for this one thing I had read about in Time magazine, that the article said was an important thing to test for, but often gets overlooked. I can't remember what it was called now, but it is supposed to be a possible indicator of heart trouble. And, considering the issue I have with my weight, I really do want to be on top of my heart health. So, the test came back with an elevated level of this stuff. Not a big red flag in itself, but worth a little follow up, she said. So she referred me to Dr. Shah. First impression, I was not so impressed, but that has changed a lot. He's a frickin' walking textbook about all things medical, I swear. But, here's the deal. It's test after test after test. All good ones, no doubt, and thus far, no pain, which I LOVE, but kind of an ongoing thing. He's got my blood pressure under control (116/77 today) and I'm loving that. My cholesterol is like155. And, all of the tests, thus far have shown no serious cardiac problems. Thank goodness.

Well, in November, I saw him and he said one of the previous tests left a little doubt about something and the only way he could know for sure is to have an angiogram. He said it was really up to me. That's when they put you in the cath lab at the hospital and thread a thing up your femoral artery and into your heart and look for a blockage. Now, he doesn't necessarily think I HAVE a blockage, but wants to make sure, since, well, lets face it, I'm fat. I've had a cardiac ablation before, so I've had the whole thread a thing up your femoral artery thing. While it's not AWFUL, it's not what I'd prefer to do on any day, so I'm thinking a CT one would be GREAT. So, he ordered a virtual one, one that you just have to have a CT scan to tell you what you want. He also ordered a couple of other things, including a body scan of the abdomen, which, it turns out is really from the neck to your butt. The insurance approved the Body Scan, but denied the CTA (angiogram). Bummer.

So, today, I go back to see him and get the results of the test. He tells me that the body scan indicated some interesting stuff. Evidently, I have nodules on my thyroid. There's some scarring on my adrenal glands and one of my lungs and a cyst in my liver that's probably no big deal. But, since all these things COULD mean something, he wants me to get with Dr. Wahab and have her refer me to different specialists; Endocrinologist for the thyroid and adrenal gland thing (although he said the adrenal glands are pretty benign organs and it's no big deal). A pulmonologist to make sure the lung thing isn't anything. He said the lung and the adrenal thing COULD mean tuberculosis at sometime, but since I work for the CCSD, I have had several TB tests and they all have come back negative, so I'm pretty sure I'm good about not having TB. Or, he says, maybe I've had pneumonia sometime and just have a little scarring. How does one have pneumonia and not know it?! And someone to check the liver. Really, he said this was just like a baseline thing and I just need to follow up with these things in a few months to make sure they aren't growing/spreading/getting worse, etc. And, since all this stuff showed up on the scan, he now says he definitely wants me to have the full on, in the cath lab angiogram. Goo, as Julina says.

So, here I am looking at who knows how long for all this stuff to happen. I'm not loving the thought. Especially the thyroid thing. Sarah had a biopsy I was present for and I'm pretty sure I'll be avoiding that at all costs if I can. I'm a huge proponant of the no pain thing. So, is the cup half empty or full? I'm really grateful that I have insurance that pays for most of this stuff,and that I live in a time/place that even allows for it to be checked/discovered/treated/prevented. But, really, I'm not loving the thought of all these doctor visits and filling out all the forms and getting into who knows what. Maybe ignorance is bliss.

Now, having said all this, don't think I've got one foot in the grave. I really feel fine, other than my aches from arthritic knees and foot aches and needing the basic bladder suspension that 5 kids & 52 years caused. A hair transplant would prove to be beneficial. I've got more wrinkles every day. And, ifI sleep on my back, I snore. But, all of the cardiac tests I've had indicate good things; no blockages that they can see, or serious plaque or high cholesterol. I've joined a gym close to home. I'm going to give working out a shot when it opens in a couple of weeks. Try to build up some physical stamina and flexibility and see if I can feel better when I move. But, really, I FEEL FINE. I'm not sick and I don't have any diseases.

Which, I think, makes my cup DEFINITELY half full! Maybe more than half full.