Today would have been my mother's 75th birthday. I've learned over the years that on certain days, I can be rather weepy and a little extra emotional, only to come to the realization that it's a significant day. Usually her birthday or the anniversary of her death. It's like my spirit or subconscious recognizes the date before my conscious mind does. So, today was like that for me. Not totally bawling, but a little sensitive. I glanced at my watch and saw the date and realized...oh, that's what the deal is.
She's been gone from this earth for 24 years. That's a long time. I was saddened and shocked when, a couple of years ago, Michael and I were talking and he told me he didn't know her name! (Joyce) I couldn't believe that. Had I really done such a poor job of making her known to him??? It was a real eye opener as to how easy it is for people's memory to become lost to those who knew them. How could it be that my mother, who I have such vivid recollections and affection for, was someone who's name my son didn't even know!?
I believe she was called home at age 50 because her life had been so hard and there just didn't seem to be much opportunity for it to get any better and Heavenly Father just said, "Enough. You're done". Right? Wrong? I don't know. But, that's what I believe. And, I can talk about her and think about her and not get mushy. But, there are days I can't. Today is one of those days. I like to think that she watches over me. Not just watches me. Watches OVER me. Helps me. Takes care of me. She was a good nurturer when I was really young and I think that's what I miss the most about her. Whenever I would be sick, she was always there. She took care of me through rheumatic fever, measles, chicken pox, untold ear infections and a few bouts with the flu. There were times, as she and I got older that she drove me crazy and certainly embarassed me and disappointed me and even broke my heart. But, I think she did the best she could with what she had.
I love you and miss you, Mama. Happy Birthday!!! And tomorrow, I'm going to make fried chicken, because that's the first meal she taught me to make.
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5 comments:
UH! Invite. Me. Please!
Done! 1:30.
Aren't mom memories the best? They are a big part of who we are. I'm glad I got to meet her Beth. Love you.
What a coincidence, just the other day I was asking my mom about your parents. Not sure what we were talking about, or how it came up. Wait...I think we were watching the Food Network and she said your dad had a secret BBQ recipe, etc. I was glad to hear more about your mom from your blog. Very sweet post, Beth.
Yes, Erin. And there are leftover spuds & gravy.
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