Saturday, June 9, 2007
I'm not going into detail, but today, I feel like Motherhood really is the HARDEST job in the entire world. And, I think it sucks that I don't have my mom to talk to about it! All I know is I really hope that the "intent of our heart" is something we'll be judged on, not the way things actually turn out. I've been re-reading a book on trials and experiences and the value and necessity of them and how our perspective is so often so myopic compared to God's who really does know all things, even before they happen to us. I don't get how that is, but I believe it is. And, I really do believe that we get to deal with the crap we do in life because there are lessons in the poop for us to learn. I must be totally stupid, then, because I seem to be on a treadmill, going round and round and round with some of the same issues. What is the definition of stupid...doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results? There you go! I'm tired. On so many levels. I didn't sleep well last night because I kept having stupid, disturbing dreams. I'm trying to make a dress for Zoee to be sealed in and have run into a snag and can't figure out the pattern. What did I say about being stupid? I've got it more than half done, but I'm going to have to get some help, I think to fix it. Maybe the elves will come tonight and wave their magic wand or whatever they wave and have it all done for me in the AM. I should be able to do this! "Simplicity" pattern my A--!!! Maybe tomorrow will be a better day. I sure hope so.