Michael

Thoughts about my youngest son...

I think a lot of people think that I obsess about Michael and think/talk about him ALL the time. Well, I don't. Really. There are days that outside of praying about/for him, I don't think about him more than a few times. Maybe that's a bad thing, but it's the truth. But, when I do think of him, I have very tender thoughts.

Maybe it's the timing of the mission. He's been out just about 13 months. Long enough to be used to him being gone, but also long enough to really miss him.

When I read his emails, sometimes I'm a bit frustrated because there's not as much "personal" info (feelings, thoughts, etc.) as I would like, but then, I realize it's MICHAEL who's writing. Not the emoter in the fam. So, I'm grateful that he writes as faithfully as he does. I try to imagine him in his daily routine. What is he wearing when he sleeps and gets up in the morning. What is he eating for breakfast? Where is he reading in his scriptures. Does he have a favorite scripture? Do he and his companion get into good Gospel discussions over the scriptures they've read or a lesson they taught or attended on Sunday? Where is he going today? How many doors is he knocking on and are people at least kind, if not receptive? Does he find humor in the situations? Knowing Michael I bet he does! What is he eating for lunch? IS he eating lunch? Did he get mail today and did it make his day because he had a really discouraging one? Is he teaching a lesson tonight? What did he get for dinner? Is he having to eat things he hates? Is he getting things he likes? Does he get homesick?(I hope not). What do the other missionaries think of him? Does he know how proud we are of him and how often we think of him? And so it goes. Now, I don't think all those thoughts every single day. But, I've thought all of them at some time or another.

It's just weird to think of what he'll be like when he comes home. He left a young man. He'll return a MAN. Full of confidence and NOT needing me to tell him what to do. But, I probably will, about some things. After all, it would be a waste to not share some of the wisdom I've accrued, right?! Just kidding. I dont' think he'll find us (the ones he left behind) changed as much as we'll find him changed. Of course the neices and nephews will have grown 2 years and that will be obvious. But other changes, from other people, not so much.

I've dreamed of him a few times and that seems to put me in the "thinking of him more" mode. It's weird, what can I say?

This isn't a profound post or earth shattering in any way. Just some random thoughts about my boy/man that I miss. A lot. Just like I would miss any of my kids who I hadn't seen in 13 months.