Sunday, July 19, 2009

Choices

Sometimes, situations arise in our lives that test us, yes? Whether they are tests designed just for us, or are the consequence of well... life, and others' use of their Divinely given agency, albeit perhaps poorly, isn't so much the issue, as it is that we have to deal with said test. Trial. Opportunity for growth. Whatever you want to call it.

I'm dealing with something right now that fits into this category and I'm torn between how to handle it. Do I consider the source, knowing that there's little I can do that will change their mind, be humble and take my lumps trusting that God will deal rightly with all concerned, including me? Or, do I stand up for my reputation, and use the tools at my disposal to do everything I can to change the path that seems to me, from my perspective (yes, that's redundant, I realize) headed in the wrong direction? Both choices have potential positive and negative outcomes.

What to do, what to do?

Isn't this just part of why I'm here on earth? To use everything I know to ponder, pray and make decisions? Then, search for confirmation as to the rightness of that decision? Now, I don't know about you, but sometimes the answers are crystal clear. Often, however, they aren't, leaving me to question, even as I'm acting on what I think is the better option, to wonder if I'm doing what is "right". Right for me, at this moment in time. And "right" to me, means, "is this what Heavenly Father would have me do? For whatever reason?" I realize that what He would have me do might lead to more tests & trials. Not every "right" decision leads to an immediate happy ending, does it?

So, I have some work ahead of me. To figure out what I should do; to as a friend recommended, "be humble". I'm trying, I really am. When pride and humility meet, there is ALWAYS a conflict. I don't like the feeling of being a battleground for my soul! But, I think it is a necessary thing. Where else would this war happen? My battles can't be fought on someone else's battleground.

2 comments:

lbozyone said...

Beth just keep praying about it. Put it in Gods hands,

Marsha said...

I'm sorry your heart is feeling so heavy. I will remember you in my prayers. Love you.